Years ago, I heard an amazing concept called “The Kiss Test” from Eben Pagan.
The concept is for men who are interested in dating: “How do I know if I should kiss her?”
Most guys are looking for a secret trick — her eyes dilating, when she flips her hair, etc.
Eben’s point is: She already decided LONG AGO. It’s about your confidence, how you talk, your jokes, your clothes… everything.
Guys want to focus on the specific moment — the SYMPTOM.
But the real situation is about the CONTEXT — and the key decision was usually made long before the critical moment.
I think this is true of lots of things in life.
- You worry about the math test…but the real work was done weeks ago, as you practiced with the homework week in and week out.
- You’re worried about your new product launch, but the real work was done months ago when you did user research.
- You’re worried about your bratty 9-year-old son, but the real work was done at age 3 when you gave him anything he wanted — chicken nuggets, an iPad, chocolate — so he’d stop crying.
I thought of this when a friend saw a new coat I bought — an expensive one — and asked, “Are you ever worried about how much it costs?”
No — hell no. I set my life up so I wouldn’t have to worry about micro-decisions like this. I don’t want to live a life where I’m walking around worried about random decisions like taking a taxi vs. the subway. That’s my ultimate hell. If I walk into someplace and worry about spending too much on a coat or a meal, I’ve taken a wrong turn long, long ago.
I also hate the concept of “worrying” about money. Why do we do this? Is worry really a productive emotion?
NO! So let’s stop worrying and instead change it. You can automate your money in a couple weeks. Do it and stop worrying for the rest of your life.
My dream is for you to never “worry” about micro-decisions ever again. Spend that valuable time on the things that matter — your work, your relationships, and your business.